We Aim To Slay

Over the last seven years I have been working on healing and growing out my natural curls. It may be shocking to hear, but I’ve only been wearing my hair natural since 2017! In that time I have put a lot of effort and research into figuring out how to make my curls look their best, and today I’m walking you through my natural hair journey!

In the Beginning

As a young tomboy growing up on a horse farm, all I wanted to do was either wear my hair up or cut it off, and that’s exactly what I did. At the age of eight I asked my grandmother to take me for the ‘Halle Berry’ hair cut circa the 2004 movie Catwoman, taking scissors to my frizzy-shoulder-blade length hair. I loved it. My mother hated it. 

But the real problem was that at the age of eight, when I should have been learning how to take care of my hair, I simply did nothing with it. As it started to grow out, I was almost entirely unwilling to even style my hair. And then when I was about 10 years old, I started the process of Japanese straightening my hair – a process that would continue for at least the next three years.

On the first day of sixth grade I met a girl who absolutely blew my mind. She was wearing fur-lined, heeled boots, skinny jeans, a full face of makeup, and her blonde hair was curled to perfection. She sat down next to me, tossed her hair back, and introduced herself. This was my first introduction to the world of pageantry. And with pageantry, came a whole slew of different hairstyles that would last until my senior year of high school.

Throughout those years I wore wigs, several weaves, clip-in extensions, and more. Near the end of my high school career I cut my hair into a bob and ceased most forms of chemical styling. I continued to flat iron my hair, but I was able to grow my – unhealthy – hair from a shoulder grazing bob into something that fell right above my bust line.

The College Years 

I started college in 2013, with shoulder length hair that was all mine, but was still wearing it straight. During my sophomore year I was in a dorm building where each room had its own bathroom, which led to almost daily blow drying and flat ironing. But, it would be another school year before I would put my flat iron away and embrace the laid-back nature of letting my hair do what it wanted. 

About half way through my senior year, I had decided “enough is enough.” Not only was I finally noticing how much damage my hair was sustaining, but I had reached the end of my rope. I was no longer interested in spending hours each day forcing my hair into submission.

Before I would take the final plunge and cut off my hair, I put away my heat styling tools and began adding natural waves through French braiding my hair straight out of the shower.

The Big Chop

In June of 2017 I made the decision to cut off the remaining damaged hair and embrace my natural curl pattern. Little did I know that my true curl pattern would emerge as far tighter curls than I had ever imagined!

In those few years I tried several different curly styles. I’ve also suffered from some ghastly haircuts because natural hair was not a standard part of cosmetology curriculum. But, sometime in 2019 I was lucky enough to book a DevaCut at the DevaChan Salon in New York City. My curls had never looked healthier! I learned so much about caring for my hair during that appointment, that I haven’t had a professional haircut since – l’ve started trimming my hair at home!

Since then I’ve tried many different products – both in brand, ingredients, and product type. I’ve learned that though my hair curls near the end of the curl spectrum, my curls do not like heavy oils, such as coconut or grape seed. Actually, my hair much prefers creamy products! I’ve also learned that even though my hair is very healthy, it still responds best when I use products formulated for dry and damaged hair.

Now, seven years later, my hair is the healthiest it’s ever been, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so comfortable in my own skin. Many of my friends have told me that they think the curls suit my personality better than my straight hair ever did, and I have to say I agree! Not only do I feel more like myself, but I’ve found that I feel more confident now than I have in a very long time, and that’s what this blog is all about – feeling beautifully confident in your skin (or hair!).

Present Day

I’m saddened to say that even in today’s age people are still ingrained with deeply problematic viewpoints on People of Color and our hair. Just two weeks ago, one of my students came up to me and said “Who did you lose a bet to to have to wear your hair like that?”, in reference to my two-strand twists.

In my own life I’ve felt shamed because of my hair – and that’s absolutely unacceptable. Even though I started my curly hair journey because I was no longer willing to put in the effort to maintain straightened hair on an daily basis, it has become a point of pride for me.

I was inspired by Miss USA 2019, Cheslie Kryst – may she rest in peace and power – to get back on to the pageant stage, proudly flaunting my natural curls. I’m blessed to have won two national pageant titles with those curls (and their accompanying frizz!) large and on display.

And this was, by no means, the first time someone has felt entitled enough to make a blatantly racist comment regarding my hair. In a way, this is exactly why I will continue to write this blog – because there are so many people in the world who have had to endure the same cruel treatment and taunting. I will continue to wear my hair proudly, whether I’m wearing my curls naturally or in a protective style. 

Thanks to legislation such as the C.R.O.W.N Act, people are working tirelessly to ensure that we, People of Color, are respected for our thoughts and efforts instead of shamed for our hair. 

The C.R.O.W.N Act

The C.R.O.W.N Act, which stands for “Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair,” is a piece of legislation created in 2019  that “prohibits race-based hair discrimination, which is the denial of employment and educational opportunities because of hair texture or protective hairstyles including braids, locs, twists or bantu knots,” according to their website, www.TheCrownAct.com. 

Created by the C.R.O.W.N Coalition and Dove, in partnership with then State Senator Holly J. Mitchell of California, the C.R.O.W.N Act is now supported by the National Urban League, Color of Change, and Western Center on Law and Poverty. Originally introduced in January 2019, it was officially signed into law on July 3rd 2019, and expanded the definition of race in the Fair Employment and House Act (FEHA) and state Education Code to “ensure protection in workplaces and K-12 public and charter schools.”

As you can see on the above map, the C.R.O.W.N Act has been enacted as law in 26 out of 50 states, and in several communities across the United States.

Sign the petition here (created by the C.R.O.W.N Coalition) – https://campaigns.organizefor.org/petitions/help-make-hair-discrimination-illegal?source=rawlink&utm_source=rawlink&share=e951a898-6a91-4165-aa21-e5e8e09612f3 

What Do You Think?

It’s been a long time coming, but I can honestly say that I am not only proud of my mixed heritage and my curls, but I love the versatility that comes with having curly hair!

But remember that every #CurlyGirl is in a different place in their curly journey – some people are very proud to wear their curls or protective styles, and some people are still more comfortable when they straighten their hair. Whichever way you prefer to wear your hair, we all deserve the grace and humility that comes from acceptance. 

Help me in my efforts to end hair discrimination – please take a moment to sign The CROWN Act Petition, created by the The C.R.O.W.N Coalition! Together we can make the world a more accepting and loving place for all hair types!

You can access the petition via this link – https://campaigns.organizefor.org/petitions/help-make-hair-discrimination-illegal 

I’ll be back next week with an Autumn edition of #SevenDaysOfSlay!

Have a great rest of your week, and remember to SLAY!